overcoming anxiety, one attempt

Heavy heart, tightened stomach, today was a day of anxiety. It seems I often have the most anxiety over the small things, collected.

Little mountains of stress like pestilent anthills form until there are too many to manage.

I am no longer in control, or feel that I am. Soon, all my eyes see are the anthills. Reality begins to slither away and my stomach tightens and head aches. I'm not in control. A feeling of fear overcomes ... and then, hopefully, eventually, relief.

I realize I never was nor should be in control. At least not to the extent that I believe I should be. Loosening my grip on the reigns of my life isn't easy nor is it simple to let go and somehow will my stomach to untighten or my head to stop pounding, but the symptoms ease as truth sets in and the Lord gently removes the reigns from my hands, saying "I'll take these." (I can imagine him slightly, kindly and cheerfully, snickering, "You never had them in the first place" as a way of comic relief). 

Tonight, may the Lord grant me peace as my mind attempts to grasp that He has everything under His control. 

 

Drop Your still dews of quietness,

Till all our strivings cease:

Take from our souls the strain and stress;

And let our ordered lives confess

The beauty of Your peace.

Breathe through the pulses of desire

Your coolness and Your balm;

Let sense be mum, its beats expire:

Speak through the earthquake, wind and fire,

O still small voice of calm!

—   L.B. Cowman

Blessings to you and yours this evening.

What or who are your anthills? What do you need from God this evening? How do you feel asking the Lord for something?

*Photo taken on Maui in Summer 2011.